Forty Guns: aka “Wait…WHAT?!”
I was super-excited to see this film! I had put it on hold at my library, and it came in today. I was already planning on watching it very soon, but some occurrences at dinner made me watch it RIGHT AWAY!
My family was watching Leave it to Beaver. Beaver rescues a random, floating canoe and brings it ashore. When it's owner shows up to collect it, he explains, "My daughter must have not tied it up well....you know how girls are!"
The Kid's face sums up my reaction rather nicely
This, of course, delighted my excruciatingly annoying 14 year-old brother to no end! He launched off into his "comedic" monologue of jokes to make me annoyed. Including his personal favorite:
Z: Why did the lady cross the street?
Me: Why?
Z: That's not important! The real question is....WHAT WAS SHE DOING OUT OF THE KITCHEN?!"
Me: .....Tonight I am watching a Barbara Stanwyck movie...where she kills all the guys.
And, that's what I thought I was putting in, but, the film, clocking in at only 79min....hardly gave The Stanwyck time to kill EVERYONE!
But, still, she was beyond cool!
In fact there were a couple of cool actors in this!
Gene Barry.....BAT MASTERSON! Heck yeah! Gene Barry + western ALWAYS means coolness.
John Ericson. Honey West's partner Sam. I'd never seen him in anything besides Honey West (which is complete awesomeness), so I was quite curious!
And, Barry Sullivan was in it too, but he's not very cool. Not at all. And, I always mix him up with Barry Nelson (Not a good thing for either of them.). He was okay, I guess, as the main character (BESIDES THE STANWYCK.)
But, he's sooooooo boring! Seriously!
Oh, I forgot about Dean Jagger! He is brilliant as usual! Although, it is a terrible fault of mine, that whenever I see him in anything I immediately start singing: "We'll stay with the old man, wherever he wants to go..."
Gene and Barry also had an actor who played their younger brother-- but I don't remember what his name was, and he drove me beserkers, so, yeah. (Why is it, that westerns ALWAYS cast annoying actors to play youngest brothers? ALWAYS.)
This movie had a really amazing opening scene. Completely blew me away! The Stanwyck leading her forty hired guns:
The Stanwyck was IN CHARGE.
Then other stuff happened. There was Gene Barry. There was a blind US Marshall. It was all cool.
Then, John Ericson showed up!
I was like, "YAAAY! It's SAM! *30 seconds pass* oh. um. he's a psychotic killer. wearing rather odd striped pants."
This was rather depressing.
Then a lot of other stuff happened! The movie was going along quite nicely! The Stanwyck did a wild stunt (being dragged around on the ground with one leg still hanging on the horse). Apparently, she didn't think the stuntman looked very convincing. So, SHE DID IT HERSELF.
Really, I was enjoying the movie! All-in-all, a nice, little western. Then the last ten minutes happened. This made the movie INSTANTLY UN-REWATCHABLE! This is what made me go, Wait...WHAT?!
SPOILER ALERT!
I will NEVER forgive who decided it would be a good idea to kill Bat Masterson AT HIS STINKIN' WEDDING! Why couldn't they have killed off the other brother! The REALLY annoying one-who-shall-remain-nameless (because I can't remember his name)?! Huh? Is that TOO much to ask?!END SPOILER!
Then the ending happened! IT WAS A PRETTY SPECTACULAR ENDING! Or should I say, STANWYCKULAR ENDING! (It's 3am, give me a break! ;-D)
If you're not planning on seeing the film, then here is the final scene in all it's awesomeness:
SPOILER ALERT!
My favorite part is either John screaming "I'M KILLED! I'M KILLED!" (just like my brothers and I used to when we were "playing" fighting!) Or Barry nonchalantly walking past the bodies and saying, "Get a doctor...she'll live." without even stopping to glace at them. Cool.
END SPOILER!
Anyway, I rather liked this movie! It had great actors, interesting (at times a bit "surreal") camera work, and just over-all odd coolness. The last ten minutes left A BIT TO BE DESIRED. But, still, it was really good! I'd recommend it!
^This credit actually made me rather laugh. I kept thinking, “It’s SAM’S! And NOBODY had better touch it!”
-Meg
originally published on ClassicForever on July 3, 2010